A Grief Ago

August 7, 2014 at 2:16pm

It was a thousand months ago. The situation she will have faced later on is the same as the day she heard for the first time a sound of goodbye. 

The hands she saw in that person were different. Now it’s the same. Or was she on that day her heart was jumping out of her chest?
There are hands again. There were also hands before. She is sure it is the same hands of the same person.

Tears rolled down her cheeks. The other person was singing the music of a sweet goodbye. She had all tears shed so that in the next years to come, there will be none. That was how she thought it would be. 

Until a thousand months later they met again. And again. And again. 

The cover-ups of hatred to self were transformed into love. And love was misinterpreted as pity, as to how it showed care. There was no clarity in the realm of abstract images in her life. 

“Good bye..” She was sure the same voice was what she heard a thousand months later when the opening of the other person’s mouth formed ‘H E L L O Claire’ and yet she heard goodbye. Or was that her own voice wanting an end? Has she not ended it? 

The other person did. But that was a thousand months ago. And later on the other person will reappear. 

Out. Dine. Talk. Laugh. 

That was how it was. 
How it is. 

“What’s the matter?”
It was then Claire was caught in her thoughts. The prison of her emotions was barred. Clarence interrupted. 

She has known Clarence her entire world. 
“Nothing..” Like how she always conceals a possible inflicting of pain to this other person with the song of farewell a thousand months ago. 

Should Claire be thankful her memory can’t fail her? Reminding her every single day the hug, and holding of hands and laughing and then goodbye. It was such a happy day. Until a thousand months ago, it ended. And then a thousand months later, it re-started.