the turbulent thirties

Who ever decided that a woman’s life has expiration?

I’m turning 33 in a few weeks time. It’s always been a gift and a privilege for me to celebrate my birthday. When younger peeps ask me how it feels, I basically have the same, almost templated, response:

my 30s, by far, are the best years, because I feel like I’m in my 20s but more calm, collected, and confident.

I’ve never felt much oozing confidence from within, since I turned 30, and felt that I am only beginning–again–to know myself. This time, better. I refuse to believe on the “expiration” concept and all its b.s. While, yes, women’s biological clock may suggest that rearing a child is ideal and best when in their 20s, how do we then account for women who perfectly gave birth at late 30s, or in their 40s?

Recently – I was lucky to be part of the #shetalksasiasummit2025. It’s a community of like-minded women whose primary advocacy is on women’s rights. Pre-pandemic I am able to attend their annual summit, but didn’t anymore get to when the pandemic hit and I had to relocate to my hometown. Attending the summit gave me a refreshed perspective on the notion of “expiration” especially that my age is considered “expiring” already — at least for my nosy relatives who seem to have time to notice that I am STILL not married, and always inquiring of its time and possibility.

As I re-assess how I feel about the expiration-thing, I realized it was never an issue to me. I was never the mothering type and the woman who desires to have a child. I wanted to get married, yes, but I’d love to find a man who’s amenable to not having a child. Re-assessing it deeply, I noticed I had thee desire to bear a child only to a specific type of man I might marry. Funny it’s conditional – but personally, I am okay with having no human child. (I have Margaux – my fur baby – anyway!)

When I turned 30, I changed career path and ventured into a profession where I wasn’t really sure if I will thrive. Regardless, I took a leap of faith, thinking it wouldn’t be an endpoint for my career. I have always been a life-student. I love the idea that I may learn from a certain someone, or from an experience. It never occurred to me that being the “oldest” in a group, I must be the one “teaching.” In my current work, I enjoy how I get to interact with much younger colleagues coming from a different letter of generation. They are vibrant and exuding so much good aura and energy, that when I am with them, I don’t feel (at all!) the age gap. If I feel I’m younger or they’re older.. I am not sure. lols.

I remember my former boss and mentor mentioned that it’s the Turbulent 30s. She said as we reach the age of line of 3, we must expect challenges and bumps along the way. She was right.

It has been pretty challenging early 30s for me. There wasn’t a year I do not feel the “turbulence”

and all the while I keep on flapping my wings, thinking I can freely and lightly fly (eventually).

But I must say, it was early on in my 30s that I experienced much wreck because of love; I am also still in much turbulence in my financial and professional life, but I’ve never felt so much hopeful and optimist in the possibility of a better till I reached this age. Recently I decided to give time for my health. I started going to the gym, and had my personal trainer — this was a big leap and a like-blindfolded decision for me. I went into it, although eventually didn’t get to be so consistent, but till now I am still working on it.

I am only in my so-called second chapter of my “turbulent thirties,” and I am excited to write more of my experiences. There’s so much narrative to be told, and I am so freakin’ ready ..