Cease the Moment

September 9, 2014 at 9:34am

It lies between the blink of an eye and one count of my breath. It is somewhere along the ‘lub’ in my heartbeat, or maybe, just maybe it’s in the second I grit my teeth because brackets are causing them unbearable pang that I cringe. Or maybe worse than that, I was never certain of the label. 

That was the feeling of being punched in the stomach when you just drowned yourself in an unceasing servings of food. It was almost possible not to feel the pain. Yet it was deeply felt. 

How was it possible?

I loved it. That’s it. 

And the only memory left of me was her eyes that maybe I saw blinking. Or the warmth of her breath I felt on my neck. Or maybe her lub dub, because she’s nervous. Or that her brackets are blue in color I could count them one by one. I don’t remember what I remember of her. 

Until I finally opened my eyes, breathed well, calmed myself, and stopped gritting my teeth. And I saw her. There. I saw her. That was the image I know I can rely on. The woman I have seen is strong, tough. And she was the only woman I saw. The only woman I have. 


In the mirror.