Come home…

January 28, 2015 at 3:06pm

She tosses and turns. 
Check the clock. 

“It’s 5.”

It has been 4 years, 7 months and days since she last shed the tears she ought not to. 
Maybe it’s long enough to contain a volcano from erupting. Long enough to learn a language. Long enough to finish a degree. 

But short for a longing heart. 

The picture of that night when this shadow of love gradually disappeared in her sight seems just yesterday. The smell of raspberry colognes sprayed that morning before going to work–still smelled the night of arriving home. The cuddly little arms trying to get to the woman in bed waiting for a lover. 

The picture is clear.
Only it’s long faded. 

“Maybe she’s okay now.”

It was a half-smile, half-grief kind of her face. The tiny dimple sprouting out of her right cheek when she releases a sounding smile.
People have not seen that. 

For over 6 years, the room that cradled her became her lover. Her confidante. Her sole ally.

By the time she goes home to her mother’s arms again, Mama Nez is already gone. Drowned herself of sadness when Bea chose her lesbian partner. 

Now that Bea’s back, she has none to welcome her but her room. Full of garments she has not worn for the last two years she stayed in the city with Leigh.

Ohh those years Bea fought to death her “love” for Leigh. 

Now Mama Nez is gone. 

..and Leigh is happy. 


********

“You see. I’ve no choice but to stay there.”

“You should’ve asked me to fetch you.”

“Baliw ka ba? Are you out of your mind?”

“You should’ve come home. Still. You know I was waiting.”

“Come on. Let me hug you and settle this..”

“Ano ba Leigh..”

“Bakit ba lagi ka na lang galit? Why? Again, Beatrice? Again?”

And silence. 

“Pagod na ‘ko.”


And there was a slam of the door. 
And this shadow of love gradually disappeared in her sight.
The smell of raspberry colognes sprayed that morning before going to work–still smelled the night of arriving home, suddenly disappeared. 
The cuddly little arms trying to get to the woman in bed waiting for a lover are in no sight any longer. 

There she was.