July 4, 2014 at 9:43pm
If you will eulogize me, tell Them the truth.
Don’t tell them how you’re gonna miss my kindness. They know that. I’ve long shown them, right? Instead tell them which I have always shown you. The rooms of my being only you were allowed to enter.
Tell them how jealous I can be. That I don’t speak whenever you tell me about your girlfriend or the woman you like. Let them know how afraid I’ve been that you find a better person in your life that can replace me.
Tell them how insecure I’ve always been. They had no idea how we fought because I don’t cease from comparing myself to the other people in your life. I have always been afraid to be ‘not good enough’ for you. But let them know that you made me feel I’m more than enough.
Tell them how huge my pride is. Perhaps they’ll be shocked because between us, it seems that I don’t have this giant pride in my heart. Tell them that when you left me, I didn’t show a tinge of missing you, even in sns or to our closest friends. Tell them that it was you who went to my house on that Good Friday of the year 2014, carrying with you the letters you have written for the years we were apart.
Tell them I’m ignorant of so many things in the world. Given that you are beyond intellectually capacitated than I am, but tell them I don’t know much of the world. Or relationships, or people, which in the contrast I have portrayed.
Tell them I cry easily. Don’t let them think I’m but a strong woman. They do not know that when I’m hurt I just cry, I don’t rationalize, like what you always tell me.
Tell them I didn’t want to get married because I want to spend the life I have with you. They’ll know how selfish I am that I don’t want you to get married. I just want you to be with me. By the way, please clarify that I don’t mean that you revolve your world around me, only that we simultaneously revolve our worlds together.
Tell them that it was not I who endured you, but it was you who endured my projections of my demons and the skeletons in my closets. They had no idea how you were able to handle such shits in me.
Above all, tell them how much I love you. You once told me that words are just symbols. Symbolically, they may not believe in what you may say, but this is one way we can express how we feel.
Please tell them that I love yoi from the moon and back. And with love, I don’t mean the romantic one, because we have long surpassed that level.
Let them know how much we love each other. Way beyond typical friends, or lovers, or siblings.
They would love to know that in their judgemental thoughts, thinking we were lovers, the truth has been in front of them. Allow them to be surprised that the truth of the matter is that you are not vaguely sweet, you are really sweet for doing this for me and for loving me.
And one more thing, tell them I am at my happiest that you will get to know the woman of your life. By woman I mean, wife, or girlfriend.
They must never forget, I am still the Queen Bee, but tell them I am in no competition with the other women in your life.
Please tell them, so they would know that once in this lifetime, there were two people who met, became friends and gave a colorful definition to what people call LOVE.
theWAISwoman 💪 
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