Going Slow

October 15, 2014 at 3:38pm

My life has always been in the fast lane. And in itself is a fast lane. 

I was 10 when I dreamed to be 20, so I can be free. I’m 22, yet I still couldn’t catch the drift of what they call “freedom”. I still see cobweb gates barring me to get through it. 

I got to involve myself in a number of relationships to get into that “one.” Spent huge amounts for cellphone loads. Wasted time and effort. Only to end up in a failed relationship. Until now, my life is slowing down. Finally found that one that could slow me down. Make me pause for sometime and see the world with her. 

I immediately started my graduate studies in a different field from my bachelor’s degree, only to fail subjects, be truant and not take it all seriously. Now is the moment given to me to pause for a second. I needed to pick up those tiny pieces of my dreamed career which I’m ruining little by little as I enhance my indolence and procrastination–which results in mediocrity. Who dares get mediocre work?

It was never easy in my life. Yet I know it’s fun to be ahead at times. I wanna run, so I could cut in line those that are ahead of me. 
But I’m too “big” to run, so I couldn’t cut in. I’m too small to look down on them. I’m a ‘no one’ to be like someone walking along the corridor fanning myself. 

Maybe I’ve been too fast. 

I had an ‘accident’ and I was told to re-maneuver. It’s time. It’s just about time to re-do things. 

This is the time I cannot not err. But this time, I won’t be erred as someone who didn’t try. 

Just this once. 

I’ll go slow…