dare to bare

Can I wash my dirty laundry in public? I’d actually love to.

I recently heard that what really sets us free is the acceptance of the truth–the truth about ourselves. Mostly, this truth is ugly, dirty, and one we ought not to see. But as things get weirder and weirder, aren’t we supposed to even brave the possible exposure of who and what we really are?

It is freeing, but not easy. While most people might worry on cancel culture, or losing face, I am in a state of my life that I have nothing to lose–not even reputation. Mostly, what people think of me are just how I choose for them to see me: in the way I deal with them, build myself, post on SocMed. While those are not fake-fake, big part is still hidden. Somehow because one’s self-revelation is not called for in the platform of brand-building. I was/am trying to build a brand I can live to be, but also, people would learn to love (or like).

There are moments I feel like I am fraud, because I am in an industry where I promote, advocate and persuade people to do something (save, invest, get insured, be ready, be smart, be wise, have this and that) and yet, in the past months, I have been slowly losing every single thing I have built in my 20s. Am I in the wrong profession? I don’t think so. I have been “failing” over and over, but I am always pulled back up by different people who choose to see the potential in me.

In moments I feel like I am fake, I go back to the core of what I think I am: brave, confident, enduring woman. There is no fight I did not face, no battle I surrendered — and yet here I am – neither a loser, nor a winner. More than a decade of adult life has taught me that it was not (ever) the wit and intelligence in school that would lead a person to succeed in life. Most of the people I see successful are those I know who are not as smart in school. But they were smart in life. I wasn’t.

I had a fun conversation with a dear friend recently. I was yapping about not being so openly sharing on Social Media – acting mysterious and the like. He laughingly said that it is not who I am. I am always the type to share what I wear, what I think, what I hate, or what I find funny. I will not shame posting raw videos – with no much aesthetics on it. In other words, he was reassuring me that I do not fear showing it all–that I always dare to bare. It’s true, though. But was it more beneficial or detrimental to be bare on Social Media?

If in this postmodern society there is nothing original – it only means that anything I share has already been shared prior. So if it’s the case–why the fear to bare it all? I wonder. #